Blogging in the Rain

It’s raining. I wasn’t sure how to start off this blog post and the rain was pounding on the roof and smudging across my window and dampening my mood so I thought that it would be a good way to start. In all honesty, I don’t even know why I’m writing this. I’m not a good blogger. The last time I actually tried to blog as opposed to just copying and pasting my latest angst ridden stanza or rhyme I ended up deleting the entire thing, tired of looking at my unimportant and vaguely egotistical problems. I mean, it is so easy to write poetry. All I have to do is poise my fingers over the keys and just... write. I don’t have to think about sentence structure or how the paragraph is going to sound. I just pour my emotions onto the page and if it comes across as confusing or depressing, well... it’s just poetry. Fiction and nonfiction pose some difficulties for me. I get caught up in the little details getting more and more self conscious and frantic until I just give up and shove it aside. It’s never good enough or worthy enough. I want my writing to be raw and honest. I want it to actually make sense to someone. I want to know that I’m not entirely crazy for feeling these feelings and thinking these depressing and sometimes totally chaotic thoughts that I have. So I post it on the internet, hoping that somehow somebody is going to stumble across it and think, “Huh, I relate to that. I understand what she is trying to say. I get it.” But nobody does. So what is really the point?